Friday 6 April 2012

Literally

Mum: Come on, Stan. Just try and have a wee before we go out.

Stan: But I don't need one.


Mum: Go on mate, please give it a try.


Stan: I DON'T need one.


Mum: Go on, just a little one. Go on, give it a bash.


(Stan punches himself in the balls really hard, doubles over in pain and looks at me in horror)


Stan: Why on Earth did you tell me to do that? It really hurts.


Sunday 1 April 2012

T-shirt

Stan: (Looking for his mind the gap London underground t-shirt) Mum, where's my, grind the flaps t-shirt?