Parental Concern

Stan: Put your seatbelt on, you boring Dad of doom.

What's On The Bill?

Stan: (eating his breakfast, pauses, puts his spoon down) It'd be crazy to nail varnish a starling's beak.

 Mum: Erm, yes, I suppose it would.

It's a Hard Knock Life

Mum: Dad's got to work late tonight so you might have to start reading your bedtime story yourself, till I've got Floss in bed and then I'll come and join you.

Stan: (sigh) It's like living in an orphanage in this house.

What's In a Name 2?

Dad: What should we call your sister Stan?


Stan: Floss, Floss my Malteser.

Emotions Explained

Stan: Like is like mango and love is like cauliflower.


Mum: Ok. What do you mean?


Stan: Because like is smooth like mango, and love is bobbly like cauliflower.

Times Gone By

Stan: Dad, in the olden days, Oliver came to my house and put whale fat into my mouth.