Saturday 25 February 2012

Grow Up

Mum: (chasing Stan up the stairs) Come here, you. I'm gonna get you. Gimme that bum, I'm gonna nip it. 


Stan: (stops dead on the stairs) Mummy, can't you just be a normal lady for once?


Mum: (laughing) Oh, sorry Stan. 


Stan: Don't laugh at me. I'm being serious now.

Friday 24 February 2012

Ambition

Dad: What do you want to do when you're older Stan?


Stan: Same as I do now.


Dad: What do you want to do as a job?


Stan: I want to be a sharp knifer onion chopper.


Dad: Why?


Stan: Because I do.

Thursday 23 February 2012

Kicks

Stan: I want to touch your face with my shoe.

Wednesday 22 February 2012

Lent

Mum: What are you giving up for Lent Stanley?

Stan: Weetabix and toy bats.

Monday 20 February 2012

Security

Stan: If there was a burglar in the night I would take all the clothes off him and get Mum to cook something so the smoker alarm goes off and it scares him away.

Sunday 19 February 2012

George Lucas Take Note

Stan: Daddy, I'm Darth Maul and you are Darth Vader.


Dad: Who is your sister then?


Stan: Err, Darth Treacherous.