Oliver 2

Stan: Daffodils don't grow on trees, you've got a pick a pocket or two.

Info Alert.

Stan was sent to his room for not listening to Dad or doing as he was told, after five minutes Mum & Dad went up to speak to him.


Mum: Stan, I think you should apologise to your Dad. Have you got something to say to Daddy?


Stan: Yeah, you have to be really careful when you wipe chicken poo off eggs or you might crack them. 

Planning Permission

On returning home from nursery to discover that the builder had been round and knocked the bathroom wall down.


Stan: What's happened? We must ring daddy, I think I need to speak to him.

At the Church

Stan: (lying face down on the church floor with his bum in the air, crack fetchingly displayed) I don't like church. I don't want to be here. 


Mum: Please get up Stanley. Why don't you like church?


Stan: The church makes my heart hurt. My heart hurts because it is so miserable. I'm staying down here. 


Mum: Come on Stan, I'll help you up. 


Stan: I'll only get on my knees. I don't want to get the church on my feet.

News International

Mum: Stanley, what do you think about the News of the World closing? 


Stan: Well Mummy, sometimes when there is a fire, you have to jump out of the window.

Crisps

Stan: Cock flavoured crisps are minging. 


Mum: What Stan? 


Stan: Cock prawn crisps are minging.

Greeting.

Dad: Good morning Stan. How are you today? 


Stan: Don't even talk to me, Daddy.